Being a dark skinned black woman is like being in a toxic relationship.

Hear me out; 

I don’t romanticize, condone, nor do I promote unhealthy relationships. I’m simply drawing a comparison that has made me able to articulate my feelings.

In toxic relationships: 

  • You’re always put down about your looks
  • Sometimes you’re thrown around
  • You get manipulated constantly
  • You’re made to feel like an afterthought or second choice
  • Still required to put in your all otherwise you’re attacked for it
  • Called too emotional, dramatic, crazy, always angry

Yet once in a while,  you get flowers, a nice dinner, or some words of affirmation jut to get a taste of how things could be. For a second you’re happy but just as quickly as all that happened things go back to their toxic state.

As a dark skinned black woman You’re 

  • Always put down about looks, skin being too dark, eyes not pretty, nose, body etc
  • Constantly made to feel like an afterthought, not preferred
  • Made to feel like you have to work on yourself all the time
  • Expected to put in maximum effort to get anywhere in life, while the world throws you around
  • Always called angry, emotional, crazy, dramatic, too much attitude

Yet once in a while, you get recognition when a “Lupita” is cast in a movie or a stunning Sudanese model walks the runway. You feel visible, appreciated, and perhaps lovable. But of course that doesn’t last for long, soon enough you’re jolted out of that magical world and into your bleak reality.

But we’re black women: Strength and resilience are engraved into our DNA so, although we may feel the pressures from society suppressing us, we know diamonds are made under pressure. That’s why we excel and are some bad ass beings!

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If that’s not enough, here’s some words of affirmation from Beyonce….

If ever you are in doubt, remember what mama told me

Brown skin girl, ya skin just like pearls

Your back against the world

I never trade you for anybody else, say

Brown skin girl, ya skin just like pearls

The best thing inna di (about the) world

I never trade you for anybody else, say”

Brown skin girl; The Lion King: The Gift

Whether you’re in a toxic relationship with your significant other or your self perception, you can get out of that state of mind. you’re not weak and there is strength within you.

first and last photo by: Jazzy

Middle photo by: Hebron

XoXo, Doreen 

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